Shame Prevention Tactic: Construct an all-knowing, unchallengeable way of going about things — cogency not required — that produces instant-responses for all social needs. Huuurrayyy, I’m good! Uncertainty, begone! Autopilot will take me home. In this world, questions have correct answers — not possibilities. This is where should lives.
The word should — in the way that one morally or ethically must — performs as a bully smearing feeble faces into undesirable places. Yet, despite its face-in-crap nature, “what should I do?” continues to be cried, screamed and whispered. As one of my disembodied teachers is fond of saying, it's time to question the question.
Now, I have heard of some things, and I suppose should questions come from a desire to defer to authority and expertise — which isn't inherently a bad way to go. What baffles me is deferring away inherently personal decisions. A sketch: you're having lunch with someone who sighs, "I've never been here, what should I order?" Ostensibly, this question is asking, "what dish will I like?" which suggests that somebody, anybody, has the answer. Why impose these limits, these safety rails? What are we trying to save ourselves from?
Why not could? Could is seductive, alluring. What could we/I/you do? A dialogue has been opened; you’re no longer insisting on measures and means, you’re inviting possibility, now we’re playing — this could be fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment