I would've stopped him... if only

As they do, the NYTimes has provided me with useful information:

If you are a restaurant worker in one of 4 US States — Tennessee, Jo-Juh, Arizona, or Vuh-gin-yuh — do not bother asking the police to remove a gun-strutting patron from your establishment because... probably he/doubtfully she ain't breakin' no laws.

Now, despite never having held a gun, I understand it must be soothing to carry lethal force — begging for your attention — at all times. Guns provide:

— help attracting a mate ("he/she, the one with the gun, can protect me. I'll have sex with them.")
— the comfort of knowing you can commit suicide whenever kairos says..."now!"
— party tricks

But, being able to carry a gun wherever whenever erases one of the better things about having — not carrying — a gun, which is: being able to declare (in any number of tones, regret and rage strike me as two obvious possibilities), "If Only I Woulda Had My GUN!" Now, gun carriers in these 4 states are without excuse. Example scenario:

A burglar (think Tim Roth and his honey-bunny in Pulp Fiction) robs the restaurant where you and the spouse gorge yourselves on Thursday nights.

Now, you're saying to yourself, "who robs a restaurant? Lots of witnesses, often centrally located, nobody carries cash these days... robbing a restaurant during business hours is really stupid." I suppose you have a point, but let's ignore it for a moment.

Okay, so the robbers are doing their thing, waving around their guns, scaring everyone real good. What are you, gun carrying restaurant-goer, going to do? Stop them? Shoot em'? Shit, that sounds like a much worse experience than getting your wallet ripped (the court appearances, oodles of paper work, the face of the local tee vee news team asking you, "what did it feel like to save everyone's...uh, almost everyone's, life?").

I'm thinking this is a blow — rather than a victory — for gun owners in these states. The pressure is on... go prevent some crime/protect yourself, let's see what you got, the state legislature seems to say. Because if you don't kill the bad guy, you're going to look like a real pussy... "why didn't you shoot his ass!" your former friends, who no longer respect you, will exclaim.

Imagine the promotional tie-ins..."Assault a robber or unruly patron, get your second entree half-off!" (participation may vary, can not combine with happy hour or any other gun-related specials)

We were promised a booth!