(you are already prepared for) The Meaning of Life

Many have tried to reduce The Meaning of Life to a quotable (and ideally patentable) phrase or two, and in trying they did... they did... you know, something.

I — in just a moment — will render all past attempts meaningless, phony, incomplete.

You are ready? Yes. I am ready? Yes. Here we go:

The Meaning of Life, stated simply, is to: Prove Your Worth to All Those BETTER Than You!

Already Done, just follow the plan

Thankfully, our betters have already put the test in place. You and I, She and He, we're all taking the Meaning of Life test... today, yesterday, and tomorrow. Let's check the scorecard.

Will I prove to my betters that I know how to be a "team-player"? You're god damn right I will! I've played for TEAM "US against THEM" since high school, where I learned to mercilessly crush my opponent on the ball field!

Will I prove that I ignore my body, and that external measures like clocks and feed-times are how I prefer to sleep and eat? Just look at me, do I look like someone who listens to their body (farts, from years of blindly eating that which disagrees with them)? Look at these bags under my eyes! Do I look 50? God damn right I do... you'll be pleased to know, I'm barely 34 years old. I'm going to milk this body for every penny it can squeeze!

Will I prove to them that I know how to "carry myself"... just as everybody else? Here are my receipts from clothing stores found in every city in the land — and look, I used a major bank card. I walked past a homeless person this morning and didn't even — not for a moment — stop thinking about my career goals. And... I'm fucking green baby, as we speak, I'm climbing the waiting list for a Nissan Leaf... my Prius is going in the fucking trash can!

Will I prove that the I don't enjoy the drugs that my betters find un-fit for the masses? Here's my piss, my hair, and you can even take a lap around my asshole if you like... whatever you need! I'm drug-free! Now pass the slave-made sugar and coffee, I have some papers (with abstract figures representing the lives of plants and animlas) to push around.

Will I prove that I have no spine whatsoever, and no matter what piece of shit new deal comes my way, I'll accept it? A certain nothing is always better than an uncertain something... that's my mantra! Let's keep going, for King and Country!

And ladies, don't forget to smile, makes the boys feel better.

My day at Occupy Seattle

When the sun shines, and air and sun team up to create warmth — in October, mind you, with the cool daily drizzle ready to dominant the coming months — Seattle people would be wise to make-a-day-of-it. I went-a-protestin'.

Now, I've been to a few protests, and in those experiences, I've found it quite difficult to maintain interest and energy (chanting the same shit over and over, listening to rally speakers... I end up tip-toeing away within an hour... and on a sunny day? Fuck! I knew I wouldn't last long). Therefore, I went a slightly different route: character performance.

I figured I'd flip the argument — knowing that "bankers are bad", and "we're getting screwed by the rich and powerful" would be a dominant theme of the day — I designed to become the rich and powerful, and offer the good people of Seattle thanks for all they do for me... I became The Happy Banker.

The costume was simple: a dark suit was out of the question, so I went with the bounciest business attire I had on hand (pink and blue tie). I made a little paper-sun cutout, wrote "It's Always Sunny in Banker-ville" on one side, drew a sunglassed smily face on the other, and used a coat hanger to attach it to my shirt. I was reluctant to make a sign, but ultimately did, both sides were notes of thanks:

A) Dear American Mythos, Your Worship of the Rich and Hatred for the Poor makes me a Happy Banker!
B) Dear Police and Politicians, You Protect My Right to Pillage and Privatize the Planet. You're the best, all my love, Happy Banker.

The plan was to stroll around Seattle's shopping district (the Occupy Seattle protest/rally was in the same space) and thank people for all the banker-loving behavior they engage in. The protest itself, as expected, was concentrated in one area, with very little protestor to non-protestor interaction... there were a few circles where people seemed to be entrenched in discussion... but the majority of people were quietly standing around awaiting instructions (as you do). So, I jumped into character and went at it... here are a few of my go-to moves:

1) Chanting: "Spend! Spend! Spend! Spend! (as I danced down the street)
2) Encouraging people, "remember to keep voting for whichever party you vote for... a vote for them is a vote for me!"
3) Telling drivers (lots of rolled-down windows yesterday) that is was time for a new car (I only yelled this to people driving new cars)
4) Chanting: "Impulse Buy! Impulse Buy! Just put it on the credit card! Impulse Buy!"
5) Simply asking people if they used a bank card today, when they said yes (as the almost always did), I thanked them.
6) People that were either sitting or standing still would get a "why aren't you spending money?" or "Go shopping! Right now!"
7) Standing in front of the houses of JP Morgan and Bank of America, I demanded passers-by "give thanks and praise to your betters"

And a lot more of that kind of stuff. The pace proved exhausting. Most of my exchanges took place in the 4 to 5 seconds in which you can speak to someone as you walk past each other, and in such quick succession that I only had time to gasp a breath and readjust my smile before finding my next good consumer to praise — all told, I had hundreds of these exchanges. I took a harder line a few times. Standing in front of The GAP, I celebrated the mostly young-ish who entered and exited regarding how GREAT! it is to be an impulsive clothes-shopper... as opposed to the "unfortunate indignity" that Vietnamese seamstresses experience for 64 cents an hour. Needless to say, those exchanges contained some less-than-playful venom, combined with the "Huh?" quizzical glances from the kids who shop at GAP... and I returned to my safer style within a few minutes.

Stressing how idiotic consumerism is, rather than its effects on the distance people and places who are disproportionately crapped on, felt like a weak move on my part... but, I supposed most people would be more affected by the insinuation that they are foolish and wasting their own life rather than criticizing a slightly indirect series of actions that steps on a foreign stranger and the land base (because, ya know, nobody really gives a shit about any of that?).

The overall reception ranged from indifference to smiles and laughs (only a few "get a life" style retorts). Ostensibly, the pedestrians in Seattle's shopping district understood what I was up to... they knew I was mocking our often mindless consumerism and the disgusting nature of global capitalism, but since I wasn't threatening,   perhaps my message might have had a little more room to sneak in? I dunno. The 5 o'clock March went one way and I was going the other, I headed home, pleased with my performance, happy to have been able to enjoy the day.

Despite all my fun, the reality of this fucked up culture was most apparent as I traveled to and from the protest... daily evidence of the destruction, for those willing to look. I took the bus. From my house, there are two bus lines that'll get me downtown in about 10 minutes. One line is black and latino, poor and depressed — it runs early and often. The other takes a path along the water, catering to the well-to-do beneficiaries of the dominator culture — it runs only once an hour only on weekend afternoons (for obvious reasons). I took the fancy bus on the way up. The Happy Banker received full smiles and waves hello, people chatted me up and "admired" my action. This was predictable, good progressive behavior. On the way back, I took the depressed and oppressed route. Nobody speaking (certainly not to me). Heads down. Eyes averted. Everybody looked tired. I didn't see one person who looked to be enjoying their day.

That's what we should all be making a stink about. The permanent under-class that fuels a economic system designed to destroy everything and one it touches.

Life Alert!

On the couch with my sweet love, eating sunflower seeds, enjoying music, watching the baseball performance. Commercial comes on, I've seen this product before. The volume is off, so it's just the images.

Worried old lady looks spooked, old person writhing on the ground (image gets fuzzy and stained an odd color, to let us know the old person is damaged), next we see "good news, relief" face, fire fighter and paramedics, happily ever after... you know this ad?

I've probably seen an ad for Life Alert! a few hundred times (I watched the Price is Right with my grandparents for years), and never before has this it induced the recognition of what the advertisement is so clearly announcing:

Elderly American humans live alone, and in a space that they believe is just waiting to claim their life — their own home. Scared and destroyed... press a button and someone will come save you — this is a thrashing condemnation of the health of this culture.

What the fuck? Life ALERT! Their website claims that they, quote: save a life from catastrophe every 11 minutes!

Horrifying. Frail old people living alone, living alone, living alone? Old people live alone... bizarre.

The Warden at Kid Prison Calls for a Walk-Out

School is the death machine — totally fucked. I know we all "know" this, but please, I ask you, spend a moment with that nugget of truth. Dream on it if you will. Don't allow your self to idealize what school "could be". It isn't that. It is the systematic normalization of coercion, or, more directly: the way kids learn to sell their time to something they don't want to do... the beginning of their end.

Get a move on: save the little ones from that which poisons them. Say something to someone, especially if that someone has kids.

Where does the critical mass kick in? Just pull your kid out, quit your job or whatever if you must and get a parent/child business of sorts (what?)... inaction is our great weakness — the reasonableness that instructs sending your kids to school is insanity.

They are your children! And that school is a house of the dominant culture. Don't let them go to that house. Come up with something less awful. You can do it.

Boom... For Real?

Pardon me? They didn't kill the black guy? Oh, I see... yet... they didn't kill him yet (Hours later, Troy Davis, murdered by the state, with help from...)

If this is a "wait for the angries to go home" ploy (like the smell coming from the not-at-all-the-same-thing delay in Tim DeChristopher's sentencing), I'd expect a little blow-back.

Any doubt that this delay is a Justice-say-what? cost/benefit move? We sure would love to do the right thing here — poison this nigger black african american (colorblind era) guy's body — a body that had the chutzpah to send violence up the ladder of authority — until all life ceases... but is it worth it to follow our hardened principle of destroying human beings with black skin? It sure seems like a lot of people are acting like "doing-what-we-do" is a problem... Let us pray.

If they didn't already have a riot on their hands, they will now — assuming they ultimately go along with the death ritual (which is not to say I'm getting all ginned up with riot punch, but check it: since killing the colored folks is this culture's most sacred rite, it's only fitting that this would be the catalyst for a BOOM FOR REAL.

I'll go back outside now.

Enjoy


As a below bonus, I was generous enough to transcribe the Important President Teaching Announcement from this morning, or whenever:

searching for a speeding ticket in the Mega-Macro-Cosmos

In what I'd call misfortune, I recently recalibrated my taste buds to the moribund flavors of mass reality — see previous post as a guide to the things I was dipping my head into.

Energies now revamped, possible sights of gettin' weird anchor the moment. The alien has revisited me, ready to be further metabolized.

PKD and Terence, I offer a nod for the connections they've bridged:

I actually had to develop a love of the disordered & puzzling, viewing reality as a vast riddle to be joyfully tackled, not in fear but with tireless fascination. What has been most needed is reality testing, & a willingness to face the possibility of self-negating experiences: i.e., real contradictions, with something being both true & not true.The enigma is alive, aware of us, & changing. It is partly created by our own minds: we alter it by perceiving it, since we are not outside it. As our views shift, it shifts. In a sense it is not there at all (acosmism). In another sense it is a vast intelligence: in another sense it is total harmonia and structure (how logically can. it be all three? Well, it is).

That's PKD via a McKenna essay

And here's a nearby mushroom I've had my eye on on:

It's called Coprinus comatus (sleepy astronomer?): common and I suppose mild (relative to the more astonishing fungi)... however, it exhibits a stunning, and speedy, physical cycle. You can see how the gills are deteriorating into a black drop with mucous-like texture. It has released its spores, and will be disintegrating further quite rapidly, perhaps I'll update.

Enjoy

I sho' wish weez had the Al-Juzeruh channel

The A-Rab tee vee show got a website too! Kind of boring though... they showing da same stuff weez getting on our shows...

World powers rush in to rebuild Libya

By unfreezing assets and offering loans, governments from London to Beijing are extending help to the 'new' Libya.

As the endgame of the Muammar Gaddafi regime plays out in Libya, members of the international community - from world powers to oil companies - are gathering to discuss their respective roles in the country's future. Decades of partial isolation imposed by Gaddafi have left the oil-rich country's economy reeling from a raft of sanctions and its government in a diplomatic no man's land.

The rebel government, or National Transitional Council (NTC), has said it intends to change all that. In comments published on Wednesday in an Italian newspaper, NTC chairman Mustafa Abdel Jalil said the "new" Libya would build "strong relations with other countries, based on mutual respect and co-operation". Going by Wednesday's flurry of diplomatic action, foreign countries appeared eager to reciprocate.

The enjoyability of listening to assholes talk-up Al-Jazeera as some form of "real" or perhaps even "honest" news source (that's right... NEWS!) has risen exponentially in the last 6 months or so, you surely agree? 


So do call Comcast, or whoever, and demand — hell, write your Congressperson — that we have Al-Jazeera too (we earned it!)... without it we won't know what's going on! And that would be terrible... because other people's business is the only thing worth knowing.

Stop Making Money!

Go get some paint (don't fucking buy it, scrounge it up) — some white spray paint being your easiest move... it's around. Find one of these signs, and tag it.

STOP is already there. Just add "making money"... and walk away. Fuck, skip away... cuz you just had some fun.

STOP MAKING MONEY!

Mantra.

Worth Repeating... and repeat

Take both arms, bend them into an air hug, stick this place in the middle, and squeeze it good. The same ole' question: "what can I — lonely ole' me — do about all deez big prahlumbs?" Amateur Seer Justin comes up with the goods (especially for those of you, like me, who are members of the "not terribly opposed to a few more decades of enjoyable life" sector of the population): find your fucking imagination (this will not be easy) and re-skill yo'self... cuz our old skills are, if I had to bet my sturdiest shovel on it, fucking bullshit.

I hush, show you a chicken butt, and point you at the Domestic Injustice chapter of Big Dada:

As if to say...

Quinoa on its way

The ugly truth about things like the war on drugs is that the problem is not the war on drugs, the problem is that our system needs a permanent underclass of easily exploitable labor to function. As things get tighter, the size of this underclass has to expand, which is why unemployment has doubled, and why elites are attacking our social safety so unmercifully. The conditions of uncertainty, despair, insecurity, hunger and powerlessness are not new, they are just being applied at a broader scale and people who did not think those conditions should apply to them by virtue of their education, intelligence, heritage, or whatever else are finding out that this is not true.

Something will have to give, and that something will have to be everyday people finding ways to engage this system not just destructively, as hacker groups like Anonymous or as acts of civil disobedience, but also by finding constructive alternatives. Most people want to live fulfilling lives, most people have deeply held grievances with the status quo, but the question that plagues them, that they find unanswerable, is what they can do about it, or whether anything can even be done. This is a lack of imagination, and an internalization of a dangerous meme about civilization and industrialism; as Margaret Thatcher once said, there is no alternative. There are obviously alternatives, but they are not going to come wrapped in plastic, or in a hand book. They are not going to be handed down from on high like the Ten Commandments. Its going to be the tiny revolution of every mind, and the follow through of every body, to the best of whatever circumstances they are in. Our system has very deliberately deskilled the laboring American work force, and made the good jobs completely technically specified. It is easy to see why people cannot imagine existing outside of this context, there experience and existence is completely embedded within its premises. To begin extracting ourselves from this mess, we have to begin reskilling ourselves. There is no time to lose, every ecosystem on this planet is in terminal decline, scientists are warning that the ocean is already into an extinction phase owing to our industrial growth paradigm. Weather systems are changing dramatically, and as expected, food shortages have already begun appearing where drought and floods are destroying crops all over the world. The only alternatives offered by our system is more of the same, we have to start finding our own.

I hit those cucumbers with something hard and then add gin!

These characters are friendly with lentils

 Since this picture was taken, I ate these. And then pooped them back into the garden (serious?)

Almost as delicious as money!