As a wee lad, I developed a taste for sport. It is one of the very few things that has endured. My fandom is not ceaseless. Before and after the game, sport receives little attention. But during the game... I am enthralled. Which brings me to a problem.
I do not like ESPN, the hegemone of sports broadcasting. The reasons are many, but the commanding grievance is this: ESPN spends far too much time scrutinizing off-field nonsense. If it's not a story about Brett Farve sending picture messages of his cock and balls to sultry sideline eye candy (which isn't a good example, because I do enjoy watching Disney-owned ESPN broadcasters dance around the details by using a bunch of vague euphemisms), it's a story about contract disputes, unsanctioned drug use, or what some guy allegedly did or said at a strip club. If I wanted that, I'd go to your TMZs or whatever.
I do not like ESPN, the hegemone of sports broadcasting. The reasons are many, but the commanding grievance is this: ESPN spends far too much time scrutinizing off-field nonsense. If it's not a story about Brett Farve sending picture messages of his cock and balls to sultry sideline eye candy (which isn't a good example, because I do enjoy watching Disney-owned ESPN broadcasters dance around the details by using a bunch of vague euphemisms), it's a story about contract disputes, unsanctioned drug use, or what some guy allegedly did or said at a strip club. If I wanted that, I'd go to your TMZs or whatever.
For the sake of accuracy, the "E" (which stands for entertainment) might as well be changed to "G" for gossip — the name doesn't suffer, GSPN rolls off the tongue as well, if not better, than ESPN. I'll give you an example of ESPN's gossipy ways:
ESPN Reports: Man Hates Boss; Refuses to Quit
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| That's the whole quote. "I hate the boss, not gonna quit." |
The recently bankrupt-but-still-kickin' Chicago Sun-Times printed a "story" claiming ANONYMOUS Minnesota Viking football players hate their coach —or, boss — Brad Childress. There were a bunch of whiny, stupid, anonymous quotes... that was the story. ESPN picked it up and blasted it into my living room every 5 minutes for the length of an otherwise pretty damn enjoyable college football game.
Now, if six Minnesota Vikings came to my house, cooked me dinner, and talked a bunch of shit about how uncool Brad Childress is, I don't think that would be worth posting on this blog.
Now, if six Minnesota Vikings came to my house, cooked me dinner, and talked a bunch of shit about how uncool Brad Childress is, I don't think that would be worth posting on this blog.
Oh, a bunch of workers don't like the boss?!... stop. the. fucking. presses. This can't wait. Everyone must know.
When I have to read this shit, it distracts me from what I'm doing: enjoying a game.
The screenshot makes me wonder whether I'm looking at an ass or an erection. I guess that's as it should be.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorite blogs. I thoroughly enjoy it. Thanks.
Just as the nuns instructed/warned us: "boners and asses are a dime a dozen, BUT... that moment of uncertainty — what did I just see? — is where it's 'at'. Let us pray."
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