They have Dreams! Counsel them, God damn it!

Career counselors have a plan for you!

It’s Never Too Early to Help Children Think About Their Futures

"I'm failing," Kate* confessed. The smart, first-year college student sank into the chair with a look of shame and disappointment. As Kate’s academic counselor, I learned that she was failing, not because she wasn't studying or understanding the material, but because she didn't like biology — and it was her major!

Now, I could be wrong here, but I'm going to wager that Kate's Bio-fail was directly tied to her not understanding the material (or not understanding what her Bio-nerd prof was asking for). Otherwise, this would be a tearful entry in Kate's reflective journal: "I studied up, I really did! I understood all of the material, answered all the questions correctly, but the professor didn't care about that! The final question on the final exam asked, "Do you like Biology? Yes for an A or No for an F." I couldn't lie, I answered "no" and despite nailing that exam (I studied and understood the material!) the teacher flunked me. If only I liked Biology..."

(The * notes that Kate's name has been changed — no need to question Blackwell's professional ethics.) She goes on:

The classic film, The Graduate, exemplifies the confusion and angst that young people often feel when making a career decision. Our society places much emphasis on career choice which can be closely linked to our identities. As children we're asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"; as teenagers, "What are your plans after graduation?"; and even as adults, we're faced with, "So, what do you do?" When a young person is still exploring his interests, give permission to say "I'm not sure yet."

Tara Blackwell, professional career counselor, may have missed what The Graduate exemplifies. But what she didn't miss is what our society places emphasis on: W-O-R-K, work, work, work! Evidently, Blackwell isn't too concerned that our "career choice" becomes "our identities." I'll take issue in her stead.

What do you, young girl or boy, want. to. be. when you grow up?

Now, why would the interrogator ask this question? Fuck if I know, but let us take a gander. Presumably, the adult is seeking an angle — a way of seeing this child — and an answer to this question will produce a relatively comfortable style of interaction. Here's what it looks like:

I (playing the adult) ask the question, the kid says, "basketball player," I scurry around looking for mutual interests, like this: "I don't understand the salary cap system in the NBA, fucking complicated, right? What's the deal with the sign and trades? Doesn't that seem like a blatant skirting of the so-called rules?" Kid looks at me quizzically, I determine he/she is not so interested in salary restrictions and "field-leveling" revenue sharing (just a kid, after all, not interested in the important stuff), I adjust my quest for common conversational ground. "Do you like insert local team here?" (Me too = Friends.)

So, the what-do-you-want-to-be when you grow up question isn't soaked in sinister intent, it's a way of seeing another person — but a shitty way. I'm pulling it out, let the plunging begin:

Kids don't know much about how adults make money. They've seen the tee vee. They probably have some vague idea of where their parent(s) and family members go during the night or day in order to get money. They almost certainly go to a school of some kind — it's against the law to not go. Mix in some internet, some friends, whatever — kids, like "adults", don't really know how the money works. (1)

Here are two ways, opposite ends of the spectrum, that you (parent, school person, professional career counselor, etc.) could go from here.

Way A) Recognizing that the kid is callow in the ways of adult money-making, let's show em' how we do it. The CBS news says 45% of people are "satisfied with their work. 45 purr cent! Take them there! This is Blackwell's way:

Initiatives such as "National Job Shadow Day" (February 2) and "Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day" (April 27) provide excellent opportunities for children to gain exposure to the workplace and develop career interests. Job shadowing and informational interviewing allow children to observe a professional in the workplace, receive real answers to career-related questions, and experience a typical day's work in that particular field. You can establish these opportunities by tapping your network of personal and professional contacts, as well as partnering with your child's school to arrange workplace field trips or career days.

Lastly, encourage your child to visit her school counselor to discuss career plans. Most guidance offices offer career inventories and resources that promote further exploration and provide help with the decision-making process.

A great way to develop career interests is by showing them careers, they'll even receive real answers, how dope is that?

Way B) Instead of showing them how the race is run, instead of teaching them skills, let them have fun (all types, bad might not be bad), teach them how to communicate pretty good, and then —oh, I don't know, when they're ready — sit. that. kid. down. It's time for a talk. We're going to make a life-plan!

Here's how to do it: Perhaps, this talk could make mention of the herds of people who are miserable in their careers. Suggest (I suggest to you) that a career is not — in and of itself — good for you. Work isn't necessarily your friend, and hard workers don't always get rewarded. Besides, these "rewards" are often mislabeled as universally worthwhile, for everyone — you'll like it, trust us, it's shiny.

However, all is not lost (this is where you, in corporate speak, "soften the blow"). Advocate for minimizing your fiscal responsibilities and material ambitions (here's the pill and a bus pass/bicycle, youngster, go forth) and maximize your generosity (in other words, when it behooves you, pay attention to what the fuck people are doing and respond with a touch of gusto — whatever that could mean). You might, just maybe, find a way to skirt the 60 hour work week and have some non-cubicle time to yourself. You won't be able to commute in a slick new Bee-Murr, and your pool is going to be shit. But hey, you give some, you get some?

Remember, if the kid is fuzzy on the moral, make it clear: there is no right or wrong way to live — we're not big on morals — but that career you're considering might-just-be a sack of horse shit wrapped in lost time.



(1) Overheard at school:

Teenage boy: Barack Obama is going to put the whole world on the same currency by 2012!
Teenage girl: Really?
Teenage boy: Yeah, it's gonna happen.

Probably.